Yesterday I cried. Today I cried. Tonight I'm crying again. The small things in life I still can't get over...
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
The one
Sometimes you get to meet him, but then you let him go, because his love is so great that it scares you...
Guys guys guys...
I read something today and it made complete sense to me! So here goes:
"If you wanna be with me, say so, if we're talking to other people, let me know so I can do my thing too, if we only talking to eachother so we can grow into something, tell me so I can show you how loyal and trustworthy I am, if you arent ready for a serious relationship, let me know from the jump, but please please please don't make me fall for you if you're not ready to catch me"
X
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Burst or Bursted? Either way my bubble popped :(
You know that feeling when you think you look totally cool... only to have your bubble bursted* by some fashion-dummy?! Well I have :(
It's Sunday and like every other Sunday morning I get up and go to church.
Since last Tuesday I'm wearing glasses again. People don't know me with glasses, because I only wore/wear them during class. I got my first pair when I was 15. Those were some ugly purple ones and I can't imagine I was totally crazy about them! Luckily I came to my senses when I had to choose my second one; those were more neutral. But clumsy me sat on them and they broke. Time for new glasses I thought, but every time I was postponing it, until my brother ordered his online. When his package finally came, he wasn't that satisfied with how they looked, but I liked them (on me) and suggested to just order new ones. So that's how I got my new frame. They're black Ray Bans and they do make me look kinda nerdy :p.
I can survive without them, however I still need them for stuff like reading and recognizing people from a distance.
So this morning I wasn't really in the mood for make-up and i decided to wear my new glasses. Aside from covering up my sleepy face, they perfectly matched my outfit! They made me look more sophisticated. Or so I thought...
As soon as I arrived I got comments on the new "look". People were asking whether they were real or just another accessory of mine. Not that that's a bad thing, but the way they asked it said enough. One girl just literally said they were ugly, without me asking for her opinion! Now that was really mean! But I let it go and didn't respond to that. It's just that I'm not the type of person to comment rudely on things that aren't even my business and it's hard sometimes to accept that not everyone is like me. Luckily I'm still able to listen to myself. I love my glasses and they will keep me company for now :)
Love, M
*(apparently it should be "burst" but I thought that sounded weird)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Sorry...
Sometimes it's a dilemma whether to say sorry or not... You do regret doing something which might have hurt someone, but what if that person clearly doesn't like to talk about the topic. I know it sounds a bit vague, let's just have a look at my case.
So there's this guy in my class who is usually very involved in whatever we do as a group, talks quite a lot, makes jokes now and then... Just a typical fun classmate. But last week he looked a bit off. Before class had started, some of my mateys and I we're talking about our plans to go to Nickerie with the whole group. So when he arrived, we excitedly told him about the trip, but his reaction was cold. We instantly noticed his outfit: a fancy longsleeve shirt all buttoned up, different shoes, shiny watch AND he had shaved! Now that would explain his behavior: He was going on a date! The most natural thing to do was to start asking questions about who and where and we kinda started teasing him. He kept saying it was nothing, but nobody believed him. Later in class even my teachers (I can't call them professors right...) noticed that he was acting a bit different and even they made a joke about his "date", saying he looked a little nervous. At the end of the day he still didn't wanna tell us and we all went home that evening.
The next day I asked another classmate of mine if she knew what was up with him the day before. She said she didn't know exactly, but as far as she knows him, he does take distance when being teased. Okay so then I knew I shouldn't be making stupid jokes with him.
Three days later we we're in the same building. We would be the only two attending class (cus the others would prepare for their exam the next day). Since we were alone, I dared to ask him again about that day. Explaining the outfit he told me he had to go to his cousin's birthday dinner. I thought it was weird, cus birthdays are supposed to make you happy, and he obviously wasn't. So I asked him why he was being that silent then, on which he answered that thát was something else he wouldn't wanna share.
Later that evening something popped into my head! I could remember something happened 3 years ago, but I wasn't so sure of it. So yesterday I googled around and found out that on that exact day his brother (I think) died in an accident. I felt a little bad. I would've felt horrible if I had lost someone so dear to me while others were making a joke about it.
So I gotta say I'm sorry! It was none of our intention to laugh about something so serious. But I still have my doubts...
Xx
Saturday, November 12, 2011
iPhone Post!
I have just downloaded the Blogger app. I hope this means I will be dropping posts more often now. In my spare-time on campus I can now write random ramblings. If only the internet doesn't let me down...
Talking about the iPhone, I'm thinking about getting an iPad2. I don't have the money yet, cus I still need to get paid, but it looks like such a cool gadget. No need to copy books anymore, no need to bring all those heavy books to campus... And I'll never be bored! But I don't know. Maybe by the time I do get the money, I won't wanna spend it all. I need to start saving so bad! So it could be that I'll just drop it in my bank account and try to have fun with my iPhone.
Xx, M
New Start?
Yowzaaa!
Now this has been quite a long while... But I'm back! Not that I had forgotten about my blog, I just didn't really have the time to write. Every once in a while I did come back to read my old posts. Some of them were a lil too emo hahaha! But it was really about how I felt in that moment. And that's why I've been hesitating to follow other (local) bloggers on here, because it would be too easy to trace back the people I've mentioned. I wonder if there's any option to hide certain posts... That would be a great feature!
Now back to my life. I did terrible in college this past year! I don't even wanna talk about it. But I'm in a new semester now and I must say that I'm quite motivated. I can roughly say that I spend about 10 hours on campus every day. That's because I have combined my 3rd and 5th semester. So when I come home around 9pm, I'm having dinner, take a bath and go to bed around 10. And there are so many projects we have to work on! But it's interesting. I don't regret choosing Electrical Engineering.
My social life has been a bit on the better side. In 2011 two of my friends came back from abroad so that's a huge yay! It really mattered because they brought back two of the groups I was hanging out with. And though we have busy life's, we still make time for eachother.
There's one more thing I wanna share with you: People keep telling me I'm getting fat! I know I'm not the skinniest anymore, but you don't have to point it out unless you're my lil bro or one of my parents. It's not that I'm not aware of that! Like last time I was in class and this guy next to said "I see your belly". Like so what dude! He was being annoying for a couple of days before (asking for the wrong attention) but that day in class I could've slapped him! But I kept calm. The same with my pimples. I didn't really have acne before, but in the beginning of 2011 I got attacked by the pimple monster. Really people, I know I have zits and stuff on my face! Stop pointing it out! It's not that I'm not doing anything about it... The same with my weight! I'm trying to eat a bit more healthy and exercise now and then. But I'm a busy student and I can't always keep up with the healthy lifestyle. If only people would understand...
My Saturday is young. I'm gonna go do my chores, have breakfast and then start working on my Datacommunications Networks project.
Love, M.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Hello Again :)
Long time no Blog huh... I'm sorry about that. I've been busy with school and stuff and as usual, I didn't feel like writing haha. But I'm back :).
It's another Saturday evening/night spent home. Yes, I'm gonna have lots more of these days. I've decided to spent my time (and money) more wisely now my finals are coming up. It's gonna be a huge challenge, that's for sure. Cus I have 10 exams to do, of which 6 in a row. Can you believe that.!! From Monday to Saturday.!! OK, maybe it will be reduced to 5, cus the last one might be postponed. But still, normally I got 6 in 3 weeks, but this time it's gonna be like BOOM, 10 in 3 weeks O_O. That's why I've started studying this week. I got a month to prepare myself, and I'm going for it. Since I'm in college I haven't been very serious with schoolwork. I used to get good grades. In fact, I was somewhere at the top, an honor student.!! Oh how I miss those times... So now is the time to get back up. I want to prove to myself that the little miss smartypants is still alive somewhere deep inside.
Another reason to stay in these days is that our economy has been very stormy these past few days. Everyone's kinda scared about what's gonna happen the next day, cus we're not sure about how much your money will be worth tomorrow. I'm just praying that God will be with us (I know He always is, I'm just reminding Him hihi).
So the last time I had been out was exactly 2 weeks ago. Actually it were Bro and his friends who planned it, but later on they called me to join them (I joined them a couple of times before, haven't really been hanging with my own friends). I knew we would go dancing, so I wore my flip flops, but when the guys came to pick me up they said the other girl was wearing heels, so I had to wear heels too, otherwise one of us would be feeling lonely... Well... I regretted it shortly after.!! My feet started hurting and it felt like my legs were bending out.!! Luckily I had some flip-flops in the car, and even if they looked far from GLAM, I didn't mind, cus comfort comes first. We went to some club, danced till 5 (we only stayed 1 1/2 hour), went home... Now the challenge started: We had to be in church at 9.30... and if we went to sleep, we definetely wouldn't wake up on time. So we decided to keep eachother awake. Bro just went to bed, he knew I would be waking him up, but the others and I were online, keeping track of eachother. When I arrived home I went straight to the shower, washed my hair (cus clubs make your hair smell like nasty smoke), did my chores and waited on the time behind my lappie. That Sunday we were all on time(something that never really happened) and I finally got some sleep after church
-Xx-
(I finished this blog today 20/02, started writing but got corrupted somewhere, so sorry for that)
-Xx-
(I finished this blog today 20/02, started writing but got corrupted somewhere, so sorry for that)
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Hello.!!
I'm sitting on my bed and right here is where I've spent most of my time today. It's 5PM already and I still haven't showered. I know, grosss... LOL. But if it makes things less worse I did go brush my teeth *_*. I woke up this morning around 9 to check if my download was ready (it was) and I put another torrent to be downloaded. Then I went back to sleep till 12.30. Since a few days I've become somewhat obsessed with this "new" (to me it was) tv serie Pretty Little Liars. Someone I follow, macbarbie07, tweeted about it the other day, and it got my attention. With little I knew about the series I asked my friend J to download it for me, since his download speed is 4x greater than mine. But I got a little too excited, so the same day I asked him I downloaded the 1st episode myself. I watched it and I didn't expect to see some familiar faces. E.g. Piper from Charmed, Carson from one of the Bring It On's, and the little sister from Privileged (forgot her name, she plays Aria in PLL). As you can tell from the name, it would be about lies, but more importantly it's about the secrets the pretty little's are keeping from others AND eachother. The lies are just made up to protect the juicy secrets. The 1st episode starts with a sleepover of the 5, where one of them, Alison, went missing. Then the story jumps to a year later, present time. The red line is the investigation of the disappearance, and finding out who the mysterious -A is. -A has been haunting the 4, and knows things only Alison would've known. It's pretty interesting and it's a good substitute for both 90210 and Gossip Girl. Guess I have 3 faves right now. I used to watch One Tree Hill too, but I got lost somewhere, and it's just too much to download right now. I'll catch up on that some other time. So today I've watched the last two episodes of PLL that were out. I cannot wait for Monday, when episode 12 will be out. And after that it's waiting on the 24th, new 90210. Yay I love those series.!!
Another thing I've been addicted to, was Brain Buddies on facebook. I started playing it right before I would go to bed, around 00.30 and six hours later my friend D had to send me to bed, otherwise I'd still be playing. This game tests your brain (BRAIN buddies LOL) on different areas: memory, logic, calculation and visuality Each of your friends who are playing it are being ranked and the fun part is that you compete with the person above you. After playing for 2hours I finally got to 2500 sth points. I suggest my friend to play it and in his 1st game he scores over 2500.!! Unbelievable how stupid I felt. I went on with it for a couple of hours more, and still I didn't get over 3000. The highscore among my friends is over 4000, and the friend I was talking about got 3rd place that same night (or uuh... it was morning already). Around 7.30 my friend sent me to bed. Yes, he had to send me, cus I still felt like I had so much energy and I would go on until I had beaten some more people. But I listened to him, cus ideas of the chinese guy who died while gaming continuously were circling round mah head. I waited till my mom went to work, took a shower and then forced myself to sleep. I woke up a few hours later (around 12??) and I didn't feel tired at all. It got me thinking, maybe it was because that game really improves your brains. It's a fun game, and hey, if it's developing my brain even more, what else do I want.!!
I noticed that I've been writing for an hour now. Really had no idea it took this long for me to type down a simple post haha. Anyways, I have bored you enough with my crap, I'm out.
-Xx-
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Dear you,
I know I haven't uploaded a new post since 2010 (ok, it was only 6 days), but I'm back.!! These past few days I just didn't have the time and energy to blog, but today I'm telling you all about it, so no need to worry.
What you gotta know is that here in Suriname New Year's Eve is the biggest celebration of the year. Lots of festivities are being held in honor of this day, but the ultimate hotspot is still the "pagara-estafette" in downtown Par'bo. So that's where I went to that late morning. My dad dropped my cousin, my brother, one of his friends and me off on the edge of the city, because there was just no getting through. It was very crowded.!! People from all over the country came I guess. Besides the pagaras, there was music everywhere. If it wasn't from one of the stages, it came outta a fully loaded car parked alongside the road. And as usual SSW on the big truck. Poor girls, they were burning in the sun from dancing on the roof of that truck, but they seemed to have lotsa fun. Oeh.!! I took a picture with the 2 leading actors of the latest Suriname production called SURINAME. I know how it feels to be recognized for your work, so I didn't hesitate asking them for a piccie.
Jerry M, Rodney C, Me, and the "very important" man xD
We went home round 3... where I tried taking a nap, but I just couldn't get myself to it. Around 5 I took a shower and got ready for church, our owru jari service. Although I felt weary, we went to 't Vat after that. It felt a little different from all the other years. Didn't really enjoy myself. We went home around 10, took a shower right away and got ready to go to bed. Luckily I was still up at 00.00. Happy New Yearrrr.!! A friend of my bro stopped by to give us his wishes, and shortly after my friend (and her bf) also came. We talked for a while... After they left, I finally went to bed. Here at home we don't really celebrate these things, but I know for sure that I will when I have my own family.
Dunno what's up with me today, but I don't really feel like writing. So I'm leaving you with these photos from my pagara journey.
(This was written yesterday, I was trying to upload more pics, but they failed, I'm sorry, so today I'm posting this blog)
-Xx-
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Scared
Again at my desk. Not at my best right now. I know that I said that I would give everyone another chance in 2011 right... The more this new year is getting closer, the more I'm getting afraid. Afraid of how things will work out... but even more of how I will approach people. I want to send everyone whom I have ever hurt, or who has hurt me, a letter saying I forgive them (or at least am working on it, for it is a proces) and that I would really appreciate it if they'd forgive me too, because I truly am sorry. For certain people this won't be that hard, but then again you have the ones that almost make you sick when seeing them. Will I be able to pour out my true emotions without even knowing how one will respond??
"...for only He strengthens me."
-M-
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Money, don't go.!!
It was 8.30 when mom entered my room to wake me up. I really hate to be woken up in the morning (especially when I don't have to go to school). Very annoyed I opened my eyes to hear her asking me to help her search for a birthday present (my neighbor will be turning 65 tomorrow). Ugh... taking a shower was the last thing on my mind that moment, so I closed my eyes and went back to sleep, or at least I was trying to. After about half an hour of forcing my eyes to stay shut, I finally decided to get outta bed. It would be rude not to go, because then she'd be shopping on her own and that can be pretty boring. But also this would be an opportunity to have some mother-daughter time.
There was so much traffic. Everyone's doing some last moment shopping for the festivities around New Year's Eve and New Year itself. I was hoping to find me some cute tops, cus my wardrobe is almost empty... and the stuff that I do have, needs to be downgraded to homewear. I didn't have many options, for I refused to go in shops that were too crowded. In a small shop on Spanhoek I found a grey strapless top, it's cute, I love it, but the price was quite a downer. Normally I get these kinda thingies for half the price, but I couldn't complain, since I didn't wanna go into the other stores. The owner gave me a small discount, so that made it easier. Don't you just like getting discounts? Even if it doesn't make that much of a difference, when good comes after bad it somehow makes you happy. Other than my top I bought some Avon lipglosses. I tried these at home and I'm not very pleased. Next time imma stick to my Milani's. I also bought a perfume, Versace pour femme. My brother has the Versace pour homme, and I love that smell. So I thought that if the men version is good, the female version should be too right. And I was right haha.!! So this one is joining my Babyphat Fabulosity and Make me Wonder. Next on the list is the Miss Dior Cherie. I still need to save a lot of dough, cus this one is quite expensive and I'm only collecting the 100ml bottles. But the smell is totally worth it. Kinda like the Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel, but a little more trendy. Oh yeah, I got some hairproducts too, cus with all this heat I'm using on my hair, my strands are crying for some decent protectors.
And that's all I bought. Now my wallet is empty, so no partying for me. I might go check out the public places, but I need to go a little slower on spending money. In 2011 I want to save 1/3 of my allowance, because I seriously need to start saving again like old times.
Now I'm tired, I need to rest.
-Xx-
Towards the end of 2010...
It's the 29th.!! Three more days and we're living in 2011. This (almost) past year has been rough on me. I had good times, but overall, I wouldn't say that it was a great year. Emotionally there were lotsa down periods. I was confused, didn't think before I acted, felt lonely... Was I suffering from a depression?? I couldn't really open up to people and most of all I missed the ones-upon-a-times. A year ago everything seemed so much easier.!!
But I did some thinking, and I wanna try doing things differently. Analyzing myself I came to the conclusion that I don't forgive that easily and that things which bother me keep haunting me for a long time. What if that could change. What if I gave everyone a new chance. Something like starting over completely. I wanna try to treat everyone with the same respect I'd like to receive. Maybe I should start asking forgiveness to everyone I might have hurt in a way. I really wanna go for it. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy and that things will change in a snap, but in this new year I just wanna focus on that a lil more. And if everything works out well... 2011 will be my best year ever.!!
Ban Drama, Wear a Smile
-Xx-
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Negative Changes
Aan mijn bureau, in de kamer met upbeat clubmuziek door het huis. Ik baal de hersenen uit m'n hoofd. Ik had me echt verheugd op een vriendinnen uitje, maar dat ging helaas niet door zoals in mijn vorige blogpost aangegeven. Dus vanavond zal ik mij maar weer moeten vermaken met FB, Twitter, YouTube en sinds kort Blogger, want ik had geen plan B op schema staan. Om het erger te maken, broertjelief maakt zich klaar om te gaan stappen met z'n maten. Lekker karaoke'en tot laat. Gewoon fun maken met vrienden... Oh how I miss that... Ik moet echt vaak denken aan vroeger. Tja, it's the past, get over it, zouden velen zeggen. Maar ik ben nog steeds de mening toegedaan dat het een deel is van het geheel. So I don't mind sharing it with you.
Vroeger had ik echt super vriendinnen met wie ik alles deelde. We deden haast elk weekend samen iets, en we hadden een ritueeltje: Therapy Session. Dat gebeurde meestal op de zondag. We gingen dan naar the coffee beanery, om bij te kletsen over onze oh-zo-dramatische leventjes (lol). Steevast bestelden we dan een coffee chiller met veel slagroom (i luvv it) en maakten ons comfortabel op de couches. Het kwebbelen kon dan beginnen. Als die banken konden praten haha.!! Los van het weekend, zagen we elkaar ook geregeld op campus. En als een van ons iets had meegemaakt, stelden we elkaar direkt op de hoogte via de telefoon, of internet.
Maar dingen veranderen... We verhuizen naar een andere buurt of ander land. We veranderen van studie. We gaan met andere mensen om. We maken nieuwe vrienden... En dit alles zorgt er vaak genoeg ook voor dat de persoon die je was, langzaam aan ook vervaagt. De kunst van deze changes is om zodanig te handelen, dat onderlinge banden niet verloren gaan. Maar helaas... deze kundigheid hebben we waarschijnlijk nog niet onder de knie.
We hebben allemaal een druk leventje. Studie, werk, hobby's... maar desondanks moeten we moeite blijven doen om de leuke dingen die we samen deden niet tot het verleden te laten behoren. Tegenwoordig besteden we nauwlijks tijd met elkaar. De keren dat we wel afspreken wordt het vaak genoeg gecancelled. De periode van de random texts is voorbij. Alles is kinda zakelijk en formeel. Vroeger was het: Hey, gaan we naar (some random event), now it's more like: Hey, ga jij naar puntjes puntjes, want ik zou gaan. Dat is een verborgen manier van zeggen dat de persoon ergens zal zijn met anderen waar jij niet echt welkom bent, tenzij je met je "eigen" mensen gaat.
In het begin doe je nog moeite, je probeert je zoveel mogelijk aan te passen aan de ander, maar hoelang ga je nog verder ermee. Vooral als je merkt dat het one-sided is. Je voelt je dan niet meer belangrijk, in de steek gelaten en alleen. Vaagjes heb je nog contakt, maar dat gevoel van onze eenheid is compleet verdwenen.
Als titel had ik "Pretty Random", maar uiteindelijk hebben me gedachten me toch nog geleid naar iets specifiekers. Ik voelde het gemis vanavond extra, en heb af en toe met betraande ogen dit verslag gedaan.
-M-
Ugh.!! Cancelation.!!
This will be a quickie. This morning I found out our reunion, which would be later this evening, got cancelled. K got a tight schedule since she's only here in SU for 10 days. I was kinda upset because we had planned it even before she was here and NOW she's saying she can't... sigh
-M-
...and I didn't even wish you a merry one.!!
Heya.!!
Did you notice I started blogging on Christmas?? I was so stoked about setting up my blogpage I completely forgot to wish you all a Merry Christmas.!! So here goes: Merry Belated Christmas everyone.!!
My Christmas was a period with lotsa food. The days before the 25th I attended at least 3 X-mas dinners (all church-related). And there were 2 more scheduled for the days after.
At dinner #1 I had performed for the first time ever.!! Okay... the audience wasn't that big, but still I was kinda nervous and wanted to get it over with quickly. My brother (on guitar) an I did a duet singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". I don't mind how it sounded... I just had to break the barrier, so that I will have more confidence performing next time.
On Christmas itself (the 25th and 26th) I stayed at home enjoying mom's delicious spagetti. No turkey or ham, just something simple but yummy.
Today (no, that was actually yesterday, but I haven't slept yet, so it feels like today) I had a get together with my study buddies. Four of us were there physically, while one joined us virtually via Skype. He couldn't be there with us, for he is currently living in the US while we're in SU (slang for Suriname). It was nice being together again, but still it was different. There is so much I miss from the old times (and then I'm talking about a year ago). But I'm thankful that Christmas still brought us back together for this one time. And that's partly what's Christmas is about: reuniting loved ones.!! That brings me to the last dinner, the one with my girls from MULO-school (we were 14 when we had this whole BFF thing going on lol). I'm really looking forward to it. I haven't seen them in a while and we seriously need to catch up on things.
But for now I need to shut my eyes, and I'll tell you how things went with the chicas later on the day.
-Xx-
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Country Leighton
Hola.!!
So I just read a tweet from Leighton Meester about her upcoming movie Country Strong. I checked out some trailers and I gotta say: I need to go see this one.!! Since I'm a big Gossip Girl fan, I'm used to seeing her as a stuck-up bitch, living on Manhattan's upper east side. Well, in this movie, we're gonna see the total opposite.!! She's got the whole country groove going on, including the accent. I've listened to two of the songs, Summer Girl and Give In To Me, which are being performed by Leighton herself and her co-star Garrett Hedlund. Pretty earcandy.!! Especially the second one, luvv the lyrics, so I put them underneath:
I'm gonna wear you down
I'm gonna make you see
I'm gonna get to you
you're gonna give in to me
I'm gonna start a fire
You're gonna feel the heat
I'm gonna burn for you
You're gonna melt for me
Come on come on
Into my arms
Come on come on
Give in to me
You're gonna take my hand
Whisper the sweetest words
And if ur ever sad
I'll make you laugh
I'll chase the hurl
My heart is set on you
I don't want no one else
And if you don't want me
I guess I'll be all by myself
Come on come on
Into my arms
Come on come on
Give in to me
I'll use my eyes to draw you in
Until I'm under your skin
I'll use my lips I'll use my arms
Come on
Give in to me
I really hope it will be playing in my local theatre... cus otherwise I gotta wait for TV to watch it.!! And that's just way to long...
-M-
Blogger Noob.!!
Hii :)
And there you have it, my first words here in Bloggerville.!! I'm just looking around, trying to figure out if this is really what I'm looking for. Never before have I kept a blog. I mean, I wrote silly notes on hi5 or whatever... but never something this big. What I'm trying to do is to type down my every move from now on. Kinda like a diary, but one I'm sharing with you.
Talking about diaries... OMG I was a diary freak.!! I have quite a few lying in my drawer. My very first diary was a present from an old neighbour on my 10th birthday. I knew what its purpose was, but I didn't really use it. Until my cousin (my best friend back then) got one too and we came up with the idea to switch diaries weekly. That was our way to keep eachother updated on our lives. It didn't last long though... My cousin caught her big sister reading the diary (it was mine).!! I was embarassed and mad at the same time. We had written about our crushes, guys whom she also knew.!! Our 10 year old minds decided we'd write in code-language from then on... but seriously, it took all the fun away. So we just stopped writing.
On christmas that year I got another diary and this one was from my mum. It was a new beginning. I inked down everything. From where I went to what I had eaten that day. But most of all I filled the pages with stuff about guys I was eyeing :p. Looking back I had TOO MANY crushes.!! My diary became my best friend. She was always the first who'd know about my secrets. She was there for me when I couldn't sleep and even when I wasn't feeling like it, I'd pick her up writing how I felt. I let out all my emotions and only with her I could really be myself. Before I knew it I needed another diary, and another one, and so forth. This went on till I was about 18...
That was when I started college. Every hour of every day was booked. And the moments that weren't, I was too lazy to pick up my diary. Slowly she got abandoned out of my life. I miss her though... and I regret not writing anymore, cus it feels like the memories of the past 2 years have already vanished.
So that's why I'm starting this blog. Since most of the time I'm on the internet, it shouldn't be that hard to drop a quick update on my life right... I hope I'll be blogging soon.
-M-
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